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Jimmy Was Working Hard. He Was Also Sabotaging Himself.

When I met Jimmy, he was going through a very hard time. He was doing design work. A poster here. A small job there. A thousand shillings if he was fortunate. But even those small jobs seemed to take an exhausting amount of effort. He had to self-promote continually by calling and messaging people, explaining his capabilities, and persuading them of his skills. Often, he would almost beg for a chance to showcase his expertise. Yet, despite all this hard work, a client might only give him a single job before vanishing. Jimmy didn’t just see it as a client disappearing; he interpreted it as something significant. This distinction is crucial because in the Clarity Room we’ve repeatedly discussed that what happens to us and what we make of it are not the same thing. An experience occurs, and we assign meaning to it. This meaning begins forming beliefs. Beliefs influence what we notice. What we notice influences how we feel. Our emotions influence our decisions. And eventually our decisio...
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Cliff Was Working Hard. So Why Did He Keep Destroying Everything He Built?

Cliff was tired. Tired of trying. Tired of beginning. Tired of explaining. Tired of watching other people’s lives seem to move forward while his seemed to circle the same drain. He started a printing business. It failed. He tried selling clothes. That failed too. Then he opened a barbershop. A few months later, that was gone. Each failure seemed different on the surface. Different product. Different customer. Different location. Different excuse. But beneath them was the same man. And the same beliefs. Unfortunately, Cliff couldn’t see that yet. All he could see was evidence that things didn’t work for him, that people didn’t support him, and that some people were simply born with advantages others would never have. And perhaps his father had been right all along. “MEDIOCRE.” Cliff was twelve when his parents separated. Until then, life had been reasonably predictable. His family was middle-class. There was food. School fees were paid. His mother cared deeply for him. His father was pr...

Isabella Had A Good Life. That Was The Problem

  Isabella knew it was time to let go. She had known for months, truthfully, even years. For ten years, she had built what most people would call a successful career. She was a corporate lawyer. She was respected. She was well paid. Her performance reviews were excellent. Clients asked for her by name. There was even a BMW sitting in her driveway with only three months of payments left. By most reasonable Kenyan standards, Isabella had made it. The only small inconvenience was that she hated almost every minute of it. Not the dramatic kind of hate that makes you throw a laptop through a window and resign in an email containing several words HR has to Google. Hers was quieter. She woke each morning and felt something inside her sink. Then she showered. Dressed beautifully and applied her makeup. Put on the heels. Picked up the expensive handbag. And went to work. Sometimes misery is extremely well dressed. For years, Isabella had called what she was doing hard work . But there are t...

Part Two — Who Are You When Nobody Is Applauding?

  THE LIFE YOU WERE TOLD TO WANT A Two-Part Story About Freedom, Significance and Identity George could not stop thinking about the question. What if I tried to become somebody I actually enjoy being? Not look like somebody. Not impress somebody. Not prove anything. Become somebody. There was a difference. For most of his life, whenever George felt inadequate, he knew exactly what to do. Achieve. Buy. Provide. Upgrade. Make more. It had worked remarkably well until it didn’t. Now he wanted to experiment. Not on his business. Not on his family. On himself. The 100-Day Experiment George remembered the boy he had once been. Before the money. Before the cars. Before the expectations. Before success became his identity, when his father was too drunk to fix something around the house, George learned to fix it. He learned carpentry from an uncle down the road. He watched an electrician work around the village until the man eventually let him help. He learned farming. By twelve, George cou...