Your Habits Can't Change Permanently Until Your Core Beliefs Change.

 “Edwin, the things you’re asking me to do are hard,” my client admitted, leaning back in his chair with that apologetic grin of someone who knows they should—and watches the world move on anyway. I’ve heard that line, or one of its variants, dozens of times: “This week may be difficult... I have job commitments... so the homework will have to wait,” or the more blunt response: “I tried and I couldn’t do it.” And you know what? I get it. What I’m asking you to do—pause, sit with yourself, feel what you’ve been suppressing, dig into the root of your emotions—is uncomfortable. Really uncomfortable. Wading through what you’ve hidden from your conscious mind takes guts.

But here’s the main message I want you to understand: Your habits can't change permanently until your core beliefs change. In other words, you can’t create a new life while the old belief recipe remains buried in your subconscious.
In this article, we’ll unpack three key points that will shift how you relate to your habits:

1. Why belief drives habit (and not the other way round)
2. How suppressed emotions and unexamined beliefs keep you stuck
3. Why tying habits to location, routine, and reward matter—and how to use these to create change.

I’ll share my own coaching stories and real-world “aha” moments, so you feel seen, experience the shift, and are motivated to do the work. At the end: a clear call to action. Are you ready?

1. Belief is the root of your habit

I recall the first time I met my client—a successful salesperson making millions—and I heard, “I believe I am poor.” Despite the sales figures and the trophy cabinets, that belief was at the heart of it. According to James Clear, your identity-belief is what drives your habits: “Each action you take is a vote for the type of person you wish to become.”

If you believe you’re poor, you will hoard. You will protect. You will build nests to avoid falling back into poverty. Giving becomes risky. Abundance becomes foreign. Here’s the point: Change the habit? Sure, you can try. But unless you change the belief, you’re still operating the same software under a new screen. And the system will glitch.

So, you must become both a detective and an alchemist: investigating beliefs, “Where did these come from?” and then transforming them, “What new story will replace this one?” Until you are someone different inside. Doing something different will burn you out.

2. Unexamined emotions and suppressed beliefs keep you on the sidelines

Over the years of coaching, I have come to realize that initially, I didn’t fully understand how challenging this work really is. Now I understand. I’ve had clients yell in sessions or quietly break down outside of them.

Here’s a typical example: I ask someone to “sit with your suppressed emotion.” They open the workbook, stare blankly, and mindlessly scroll on their phone. The mind thinks: “Not today. Let’s do something else.”

The habit loop goes like this: cue (stress, guilt, avoidance) → routine (scrolling) → reward (distraction, relief). The underlying factors—the emotion, the belief, the unprocessed story—are what drive the habit.

You cannot outrun them. If you try, they’ll tag along, transforming into something else. So, what do we do? We pause. We sit. We ask: “What am I avoiding? What belief am I hiding behind the task at hand?” Then we do the inner work. I even bribe clients (yes, I admit)—with a dinner, a hike, something that signals a “reward” into the new habit loop because you can’t expect your brain to engage in emotional work without offering a treat.

When they cross that threshold—they look different. They speak differently. They are different. And the habit change sticks because it’s no longer just external; it’s internal.

 

3. Architecture of habit change

Here’s where the science meets the coffee-table conversation. Habit formation isn’t mystical—it has architecture. Habits follow a loop: cue → routine → reward.  What I’ve learned from clients: When trying to replace a resistance habit (such as avoidance or distraction), don’t forget to shape both the environment and the reward.

• Change the location: If your usual spot for doom-scrolling is the couch in dim light after dinner, move the homework to a different place: a chair by the window, a walking path, a notebook outside.
• Use a mini-habit: It doesn’t have to be 2 hours of reflection—it can be 5 minutes. The key is consistency.
• Give yourself a suitable reward: After you sit with emotion for 5 minutes, you go for a run, or stretch, or sip your favorite tea while reviewing what surfaced. That reward hooks your brain to the new loop: cue (time + place) → routine (sit-reflect) → reward (dopamine blast).
  When you combine belief work (point 1) + emotional excavation (point 2) + habit architecture (point 3), you’re no longer putting a plaster on the wound—you’re cleaning, stitching and dressing it. That’s how change lasts.

Conclusion

So, there you have it. The core takeaway: Habit change isn’t about doing more—it’s about becoming someone different by shifting your beliefs, processing your hidden emotions, and rebuilding the habit loops around you.

I’ve coached many people who came in with “I just tried and I couldn’t do it.” They left with “I’m doing differently because I believe differently.” You can too.

If you’re ready to move from being trapped by your old belief “I am poor,” “I’m not enough,” “I’ll never change” into embodying a new identity “I create value,” “I am enough,” “I am becoming better”—then here’s your call to action:

Call to Action:

 Schedule your next coaching session, commit to my 6-month personal coaching program if you haven’t already, and make this week your “location change” week: pick a new physical spot, set aside just 10 minutes for self-reflection, and give yourself a treat as a reward afterward. Make a small vote for your new identity today.

Let’s do the work. Let’s change the software. Let’s become the person who doesn’t just declare “I’ll change”—but lives it. You ready? I am.