The Lost Art of Connection: Why the Future Belongs to Those Who Build Trust Early

 

Toastmasters Series: My Reflection on a Speech by Faith Muhunyo    

I recently listened to a young lady deliver what can only be described as an outstanding speech. Not outstanding in a dramatic, chest-thumping way. No fireworks. No theatrics. Outstanding because she did something quite rare.

She connected.

Authentic, intentional connection—not just networking for the sake of LinkedIn. A real, human bond that makes people lean in naturally, without even noticing. The kind that helps you feel seen, not just sold to.

As I listened, a strange thought crossed my mind: What she was doing may soon look miraculous to most people.

When I looked into her background, the pieces came together easily. She came from a family that valued people, time, presence, and community. Connection wasn’t something she learned for applause; it was cultural. It was normal. It was expected.

She casually mentioned she was doing this to “increase her chances of getting a job.”

I smiled.

She had unknowingly discovered a gold mine. Connection isn't just a soft skill; it's a compounding habit. When practiced early, deliberately, and regularly, it fosters trust, authority, opportunity—and eventually, freedom.

Let me explain why.

Key Point 1: Trust Is Built Before It Is Requested

People don’t trust you because of your title; they trust you because of patterns. Over time, humans subconsciously compare your behavior against an internal template of what “someone trustworthy” looks like. When your actions consistently match that template—integrity, consistency, presence—trust forms almost automatically.

This is why people relate better to those they feel connected to.

Connection creates observation.
Observation creates familiarity.
Familiarity creates trust.
Trust creates credibility.

And once credibility is established, something fascinating happens: people begin to defer. We see this clearly in religious spaces. Certain preachers are trusted to the point where congregants expect them to be experts in everything: marriage, finances, mental health, wellness, parenting—you name it.

This isn’t always healthy. It reveals a human weakness: our comfort with doing the least and outsourcing responsibility for our lives to someone we trust. But it also reveals something powerful. When trust is deeply established, authority is conferred naturally—not demanded.

This young woman had unknowingly begun building that authority. Each time she facilitated an event well, the subsequent request followed naturally.

“Can you help with this?”
“Can you lead that?”
“Can you connect us?”

And that is how platforms are built—not through ambition alone, but through consistent excellence in service.

Key Point 2: Skill + Service + Habit = Authority

Most people chase opportunity. Very few build readiness. At a young age, she was invited to facilitate an event. She did it well. That wasn’t luck. That was preparation meeting opportunity in a safe community.

Now here’s the habit question that matters:

Can you become exceptional at one thing, build a skill around it, and then learn how to monetize it—while serving others?

If she does this well, three things happen simultaneously:

1. Her network expands organically.
2. Her confidence compounds.
3. Her credibility accelerates.

Toastmasters and Rotary—spaces she was already part of—become living laboratories. Places to test ideas quickly, to fail safely, and to refine skills rapidly. This is how authority is built before a job title arrives.

Contrast this with what society often pressures young people to do: “Get a job quickly. Settle. Be responsible.” Nothing wrong with responsibility. But responsibility without identity is dangerous.

Many people join influential organizations but forget to build their personal brand. They adopt values that aren’t truly theirs. They trade their dreams for stability and prioritize comfort over vision. Ten years later, they wake up successful—but incomplete.

Key Point 3: The Quiet Tragedy of Deferred Dreams

Let me paint a familiar picture.

She builds a career.
She earns well.
She gets married.
Two kids.
A respectable life.

But something feels missing. She once smiled in the wind—doing risky things, failing often, laughing at failure like it was a wise friend offering guidance. Failure sharpened her. Oriented her.

Now? She loathes failure. She can’t afford it. A family depends on her. A reputation must be protected. A lifestyle maintained.

Resilience—the muscle she once exercised freely—has atrophied.

Cracks emerge—health fears surface—the marriage strains. At 50, she finally decides to do what she's always known she could do. But now she feels too old. Too tired. Too afraid. And that is the tragedy—not failure, but delay.

The Awakening

The young lady wakes suddenly. It was a dream. The next day, she is heading for another interview—her 21st in five months. None has worked out the way she hoped. Yet she smiles. She knows she must walk the less-trodden path.

It may mean:

• Not buying the car that her friends buy.
• Not moving out as quickly.
• Not fitting into society’s timeline.

But she will live by her values. She will do the massive, invisible work of building a brand that stands above the noise—a brand rooted in connection. She doesn’t know the name yet. But she knows what to build.

The Three Habits She Commits To

1. Mastery of Eloquence

She commits to becoming an exceptional speaker—so skilled, so thoughtful, that invitations come from beyond borders. Not noise. Not hype. Mastery.

2. Strategic Connection Building

She intentionally builds her network—always within three to six degrees of anyone she may need to bring her vision to life.

Not manipulation. Value. She becomes known as a connector extraordinaire.

3. Rapid Product Testing

Using platforms like Toastmasters and Rotary, she creates, tests, and refines. Quickly. Repeatedly.

Skill meets feedback. Feedback meets growth.

Conclusion: The Habit Question That Changes Everything

The future does not belong to the loudest. It belongs to the most consistent. Connection is not accidental. Trust is not spontaneous. Authority is not gifted.

They are habits.

If you are young—or even if you’re not—the question remains the same: What habit are you building today that your future self will thank you for?

Call to Action

If this resonated with you:

• Reflect on the habits you are compounding.
• Ask yourself where you are deferring your dreams.
• Begin building your brand—quietly, consistently, courageously.

And if you’re ready to intentionally design habits that align with who you truly are—not who society expects—then this conversation has already begun.

 If this message stirred something in you, don’t let it fade.

1.       Join my LinkedIn Habit Coaching Newsletter: https://www.linkedin.com/newsletters/habits-with-coach-edwin-7399067976420966400/

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