Real Over Perfect: The Journey Of You Becoming A Powerful & Authentic Speaker

 

When I was 17, I was asked to speak before a thousand people and share my thoughts on life. Back then, the only life I had known was trying hard to fit in, not sure where I belonged, and struggling to make sense of my environment.

To cope, I turned to rap music, songs that violently demanded freedom and an equitable future, away from the harsh realities of American neighborhoods. In school, I was the oddball who knew of Wu-Tang Clan, Tupac, and OutKast. It was an identity I fully embraced to validate my existence. To be seen, heard, and appreciated.

Until that fateful day, I was given the stage to mimic my heroes. Now I was required to give a speech. I racked my brain. How was I going to pull this off? I had seen movies where, on the fly, a hero would stand before a crowd and give a rousing speech.  

Me! Now! How? 

“I have a dream” is hailed as a masterpiece in rhetoric and is ranked as one of the top speeches of the 20^th century. The speech was delivered before 250,000 people on 28^th August 1963, yet, do you know, it was a side note, the sixteenth of eighteen speeches given that day.

Martin Luther King Jr. had been preaching about dreams since 1960, before crowds of 25,000, increasing to 125,000. He had collaborators for the speech and worked on many versions of the speech months earlier in anticipation. Even so, at the very end of the speech, Martin Luther King Jr improvised, departing from written remarks and going into his element as a preacher and borrowing from years of rallying congregants into a fervor.  Yes, he quoted famous speeches, educated and inspired with vivid imagery, but he constantly reminded the crowd why they were there. 

As I stood before 1200 people, I froze, unable to speak or share what hung tightly like a noose around my heart. I was neither prepared nor experienced.  

What does it mean to be an authentic speaker?

The path to being authentic is barricaded with self-awareness. A deep understanding of self, knowing what you value and what you believe in. Knowing where you excel and where you struggle. For many, climbing over that barricade is impossible. They take a detour and wear a mask, donning a persona when around other people. All in a quest to fit in, to be seen, heard, and appreciated. 

Yet, some have chosen to reveal their vulnerabilities, and we loved them for their authenticity. Abraham Lincoln's letters revealed his struggles with deep depression and elevated him to one of the most beloved American presidents. Oprah Winfrey’s traumatic upbringing made her a darling to a global audience that revered her. 

The most beloved speeches were given in contrast to prevailing circumstances.

Nelson Mandela gave a speech at the Rivonia trial against apartheid rather than testify for himself. He was given a life sentence and went to prison for 27 years. The speech defined him as a leader, solidified his beliefs, and galvanized the global opposition to apartheid. 

Malala Yousafzai, at 17, received a Nobel Peace Prize after surviving an assassin’s bullet. Her speech was simple, descriptive in her struggle, and clear in what she was seeking: equality and education for girls and women. 

Authenticity demands that we cast aside the masks and go on a journey of self-discovery. Away from our desire to be validated.

Authenticity comes from personal struggles, issues that reveal our vulnerability and genuine emotions. We are called to speak from the heart and invite others to connect at a deeper level. These imperfections humanize you and make you relatable. 

As I stood on that stage, I felt naked, not ready to be myself; I wanted to don the bravado of my heroes. But their battles and mine were different. I was not in the harsh streets of American neighborhoods. My greatest enemy was within, voices screaming of inadequacy and lack of identity. I was not ready to address them. I didn’t even know how to let the voices speak rationally. 

To make a mistake was unacceptable in my mind. Yet, perfection comes from the inauthentic. To be human is to err. To be authentic is to own our mistakes. Mistakes that shame, humiliate, embarrass, or disgrace us, once revealed responsibly, make us human and relatable.

The Johari window (a tool developed to help people understand self-awareness and interpersonal communication) advises that we find ways to bring the hidden to light in a sage way.

We live in a fast world, with distractions all around. You have tasks, meetings, and people to attend to. And normally, we lose out on the moment. A precious moment to be present. To look in the eyes of your audience and build a connection. When you are present, you are saying you value the people before you. When you are present, you can breathe, flow with the audience, and adapt as necessary. Being present also involves enjoying the speaking and feeling connected to the moment. When you shift from self to others and feel the joy of sharing your message, the audience will sense it, and this creates a powerful mutual connection. 

All these were lost to me as that 17-year-old.

You are a vessel. In all intents and purposes, for your message. A pot doesn’t say, 'Stop holding me that way'. Instead, it holds and stores, and then releases its contents to those who need it for nourishment.

As a vessel, you mostly communicate through your body language. Yet the fidgeting, crossing of arms, avoiding eye contact, touching the neck, and the lap confuse our audience and undermine our message, making it hard for us to connect meaningfully. These are unintentional movements and gestures that unconsciously mask anxiety and insecurities.  

Authenticity requires that we first become aware of them and then address them to ensure our hand gestures, body posture, and facial expressions naturally help us emphasize the message we want to convey.

In the same light, we must be aware of how we come across in our tone, pace, and energy levels. These impact the delivery of our message. It is critical to be aware of the subtle ways we communicate and align our delivery with our values and intentions.

  Do you believe in what you are saying?

Many people don’t, “it's just a message I am sharing.” Failing to understand that conviction and enthusiasm are contagious. It's an energy source that comes from you, transmitted to the audience. When you believe in your message, it shows. This can help build trust and rapport with the audience.

We assume passionate delivery comes with being loud, like some overzealous presenter, but passion can be calm yet firm. The key is to show your enthusiasm in a way that feels sincere, not forced.

How?

Tie it back to the deeper purpose behind why you’re speaking. Whether it is to inspire like Winston Churchill (Never Give In), or educate like Sir Ken Robinson (Do Schools Kill Creativity?), or persuade like Barack Obama (Yes We Can!). Having the why in mind will keep your speech grounded and authentic.

Authentic speaking is about serving others, not about showcasing your knowledge or abilities.

 You are a pot to store, not a vase to be adored. 

When you focus on your message and how it helps your audience, rather than how you look or sound, it shifts the dynamic from performance to connection.

 

Finally, how do you channel that nervous energy into a formidable presence when giving a speech?

 

The power of breathing is underestimated. Deep, slow breathing helps you calm your nerves. When you focus on your breath, it centers your mind in the present moment. A few rounds of diaphragmatic breathing and counting to 4: inhale, count to 4, hold, count to 4, and exhale, count to 4. This activates the parasympathetic nervous system, helping reduce anxiety and increase your sense of calm.

We also try to suppress the nervous energy. Instead, let it flow through your voice and body. Speak more energetically or be more expressive. Your audience will feel this energetic presence. The nerves may arise because we care about the impact of our message. Why not then turn the nervous intensity into passion for the topic? Speak with energy and enthusiasm, using your nerves as fuel for your delivery. The more passion you show, the more your audience will connect with you.

When nervous, say it: “I am nervous.” This creates rapport with your audience. It shows you're human and allows them to empathize with you, which enhances your presence and connection.

One thing that works wonders is when you visualize success before you step on stage. Visualize vividly speaking with confidence, connecting with your audience, and delivering your message effectively. This not only reduces anxiety but also primes you for success. When you mentally rehearse a positive outcome, it becomes a reality.

And yes, we all fear being judged, and this can cause us to be nervous. When you focus on your audience and their needs instead, asking how you can serve them, provide value, and inspire them, the focus shifts from how you feel to what you want to give. A service mindset reduces the pressure you place on yourself. And while at it, remind yourself the audience is not there to scrutinize you, they are there to learn, be inspired, or hear your message. 

Therefore, Be Authentic as You Speak. 

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Thank you for taking the time to read this blog! I'm Edwin Moindi, a Life and Habit Coach dedicated to helping people understand their habits, navigate their emotions, and cultivate emotional intelligence for a happier, more balanced life. I'd love to hear your thoughts—feel free to reach out and share your insights or questions!