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Success Didn’t Save Her: How Shame Quietly Hijacks Our Habits

  The Shame Chronicles — Part One There are people you admire from afar. Paula is one of them. Gifted. Driven. Reliable. The kind of woman whose name, when mentioned in a room, prompts a nod of respect. She works hard— exceedingly hard —and she excels at what she does. Not just good— exceptionally good . Promotions follow her. Praise sticks to her. Results seem to chase her down. And yet, every few months, Paula disappears. Not in a dramatic, social-media-announcement kind of way. No “taking a break” post. No explanations. She goes quiet. Emails go unanswered. Calls go straight to voicemail. Friends and colleagues can’t quite track her down. Over time, people understand the pattern. “Oh, it’s that time again. Give her space.” They don’t panic or pressure her; they wait. Paula always returns. What nobody notices—and what Paula herself struggled to name for years—is that these disappearances are not breaks. They are collapse. Achievement as Armor Paula lives with a qu...

24 (Unofficial) Rules for Dating in Nairobi: The Unofficial Manifesto

A Field Guide for the Brave, the Curious, and the Emotionally Willing First, let me repeat the disclaimer with my hand on my chest, because Nairobi people love screenshots and context gets lost fast: I'm not a dating guru. I don’t run a secret school in Kilimani where we train people to “manifest soulmates” with candles and voice notes. I don’t have a course titled “Manifest Your Person in 21 Days.” What I do have is two decades of lived experience from my own life and from the experiences of a few friends who have dated in this city long enough to qualify for a SHA insurance cover for emotional injuries. This is not law; it's a field guide. Use what works. Laugh where it hurts. And if you feel personally attacked… that’s between you and your conscience. Now. Let’s talk. -- Dating in Nairobi isn’t just dating. It’s a full-contact sport. It’s traffic. It’s “I’m five minutes away” when someone is still in the shower. It’s people saying “I hate drama” while carrying a ...