I grew up in a strict Seventh-day Adventist household.
Saturday was holy, quiet, serious, and structured. In the early 90s, when I was
ten years old, I had one consistent spiritual gift: arriving late. Not because
I hated church, but because I loved space.
Or more precisely, I loved Star Trek: The Next Generation—
those weekly adventures of Jean-Luc Picard and his crew, exploring strange
civilizations that somehow taught me more about human nature than any lecture
could.
In the series, you had alien races like ‘the Borg’— obsessed
with assimilation, turning identity into a factory line. You had ‘the Ferengi’—
where everything was about profit and bargaining, even breathing felt
negotiable. And you had ‘Q’— this omnipotent troublemaker who kept putting
humanity on trial.
Every “alien” was a mirror. And many evenings after the
house settled, I would look at the sky and wonder: What is the next frontier
of human imagination?
Here’s the cosmic truth: light from many stars takes
millions of years to reach us. So, when you look up, you’re often seeing the
past, not the present. Some stars you see may no longer be alive today, but
their light still travels and arrives as an echo. Yet, we walk around desperate
to find purpose, like a rare item on a supermarket shelf. “Excuse me, where
do you keep the meaning of life? Aisle 7?”
My core message today is:
Purpose is not something you “find.” Purpose is something
you build—by aligning values to timeless principles, developing self-awareness,
and investing your strengths in service, courage, and disciplined action.
Stay with me as I expand this message.
Why Purpose Feels Like Fog (And Why That’s Not Your
Fault)
I recently served as a panelist at an event hosted by
Integrative Wellbeing titled "Purpose and Pathways." I
was on a panel with Dr. Njumbi Gichohi and Grace Michuki. One thing became very
clear: we have been culturally and educationally trained to believe that
purpose must be clear early on and that it should align with society’s
expectations.
Go to school. Get a “good” education. Land a respectable
job. Outperform the neighbor. Repeat until retirement or heartbreak—whichever
comes first. But let’s be honest: many of our education systems were created
for standardization and obedience, producing workers for the machine, not
meaning-makers for the soul. Conversations about the Prussian-influenced*
“factory model” of schooling often emphasize discipline, conformity, and
loyalty to the state as key features.
* The Prussian education model, which most education systems
heavily borrow from, was established in the 18th century and refined after
1806. It was a state-controlled, compulsory system designed to produce
obedient soldiers, workers, and citizens. It featured a standardized
curriculum, classrooms separated by age, trained teachers, and an emphasis on
rote memorization and discipline. This model, focused on loyalty to the state,
greatly influenced modern public education systems, especially in the United
States.
So, you find yourself in a
double bind: society tells you, “Be innovative, independent, driven.” Then
society penalizes you when your ideas are too new to fit the current system.
That contradiction creates confusion. And then we start calling the path of
purpose finding a “mystery.” But often what we’re really experiencing is this:
we are trying to build purpose on an identity that was assigned, not chosen.
The Sailor’s Secret: Values That Don’t Drift
An experienced sailor will tell you: the ocean can be
chaotic, visibility can vanish, and waves can slap the confidence out of your
chest. But a sailor still reaches their destination because they depend on
something steadier than their emotions.
A compass. The sun. The stars. He adjusts sails based on
wind direction, wave patterns, and cloud formation. What appears to be chaos
becomes navigable once you understand the laws. That’s the lesson.
Life also operates on laws—principles that don’t depend on
your mood. Your values are meant to be your “navigation system.” And we all
have values. Everyone prioritizes something. The question is: are your
values aligned with principles that truly support life?
Principles are timeless,
universal, and connected to how life functions emotionally, socially, and psychologically.
They are life-giving and self-correcting under pressure. Now, it is up to us to
choose a principle and adopt it as our own, thereby prioritizing it as a value.
Therefore, a principle is only worth becoming a value if
it elevates your awareness, stabilizes your behavior under pressure, and
enhances your life systems over time.
And here’s the punchline, wait for it: Corporations and big
business clarify vision, mission, and values early and then move with
frightening focus. But many individuals treat value clarity like
a hobby: “I’ll do it after I finish suffering.”
It’s strange that every year, millions of people try to get
a little more pay or a promotion, all while aligning with the company’s core
values. Yet they have no clear understanding of their personal values.
Four Anchors That Build Purpose
Anchor 1 — Values Aligned to Principles (Your Inner
Compass)
For most people, purpose is a quest for meaning—a deep
existential “Why am I alive?” You don’t answer that question by copying your
neighbor's life. You discover it by clarifying the principles you'll live by
when things get tough. Because purpose isn’t proven in comfort; it’s revealed
under pressure.
When pressure hits—whether it’s financial, marriage, shame,
or grief—you see your true values. Not your Instagram ones, but your nervous
system values. So ask yourself:
- What do I prioritize when I’m stressed?
- What
do I sacrifice first when life gets overwhelming?
- What
do I defend without proof?
That’s your current compass. And if the compass is off, you
don’t “manifest harder.” You recalibrate.
Anchor 2 — Self-Awareness (Fixing the Map in Your Head)
Let’s refer to Stephen R. Covey and the four human
endowments—self-awareness, conscience, independent will, and creative
imagination. Let’s focus on self-awareness because it is the doorway.
Self-awareness is the ability to examine why you do what you do. It’s the
ability to step back and observe your thoughts, emotions, and behavior, and to
consciously choose how to respond rather than react automatically. A great way
to understand this is to ask “why” enough times; you will discover your
beliefs.
And beliefs create the map. However, the map can sometimes
be distorted by emotional baggage, misunderstandings, ignorance, and early
childhood experiences. Keep in mind, many core beliefs are formed very early in
life, as we absorb the world like sponges.
So, we grow up with hidden scripts:
- “I
must perform to be loved.”
- “If
I’m not impressive, I’m nothing.”
- “Conflict
means abandonment.”
- “Rest
is laziness.”
Then we call it personality when it’s actually just
programming. Self-awareness is not self-hate; it’s freedom. When you become
aware, you shed burdens. You stop dragging old fears into new seasons. You
begin to walk lighter—more honest, more deliberate, more aligned.
Anchor 3 — Strengths, Service, and Daily Discomfort
(Meaning Has Calluses)
Now, let us talk about strengths. Gallup developed the CliftonStrengths
Talent Assessment, which defines talents as “naturally recurring
patterns of thought, feeling, or behavior.” You’re not born with finished strengths.
You’re born with talent patterns. Those patterns are relatively stable—how you
process information, decide, relate, take risks, and solve problems.
But strengths are built through
investment by practice, awareness, feedback, coaching, values, emotional
regulation and experience. Same talent—different level of consciousness.
Here's an example of talents and nurturing them through
investment: someone with influence can manipulate early in life, then inspire
later. The talent didn’t change; the maturity did.
A wise man once said that when you give wholeheartedly,
especially to those who can never repay you, you will find purpose and meaning.
This is profoundly true psychologically and spiritually: when you stop living to
survive and start living to serve, something inside you awakens. The wise man
called it “working your Lazarus”—bringing to life the seemingly dead things in
you that still have power.
I urge you to make your contribution more demanding in terms
of time and effort, not just money
- Take a week off to serve with a medical
team in Turkana.
- Train
for a fundraising run for a children’s home, then after go to the home and
do chores.
- Start
a project that addresses a real need—and stay long enough to see it
through.
Anchor 4 — Do the uncomfortable daily.
Emotionally, mentally, and behaviorally uncomfortable.
Because intentionally enduring discomfort transforms into courage. And courage
provides the exit from the survival cycle of fear, grief, blame, apathy, and
shame. When you practice discomfort with discipline, you shift from just
surviving to actually learning. From reacting to actively choosing. From
drifting to taking control.
And for you, purpose becomes clearest in unity with
God—because we are spiritual beings living in a material world, craving peace
and serenity, but often lacking the disciplined action to embrace it.
That’s not condemnation. That’s a diagnosis.
A Simple Weekly Challenge to Start Building Purpose
Here’s my challenge to you (and yes, I’m talking to you like
a coach who wants results, not excuses):
This week, don’t “search” for purpose. Build it.
- Write
your top 7 values as they currently show up under pressure.
- Identify
one belief you adopted early that still drives you. Ask “why” until it
sweats.
- Pick
one strength you know you have and invest in it intentionally
(practice + feedback).
- Do
one act of service that costs time and effort.
- Do
one uncomfortable thing daily—small but real.
Conclusion: From Surviving to Serving — and Back to God
Your purpose isn't hidden from you. It’s right in front of
you—embedded in your values, awareness, strengths, service, and daily courage.
So next time you look at the sky and feel small—good. Let it humble you, then
refocus. You don’t need a dramatic revelation.
You need alignment. And alignment is a habit.
Call to Action:
If this message resonated with you, don’t just nod—act. Share it
with someone who is quietly drifting, and commit to the weekly challenge above.
Then, reread the full article slowly and write down what you plan to change
this week.
If this message stirred something in you, don’t let it fade.
1. Join my LinkedIn Habit Coaching Newsletter: https://www.linkedin.com/newsletters/habits-with-coach-edwin-7399067976420966400/
2. Join my Habit WhatsApp Community at https://whatsapp.com/channel/0029VbAmKkOBvvsWOuBx5g3L
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