How to Thrive in a Toxic Environment

Imagine travelling to a new land that promises to make your dreams come true. You arrive there, and at first, you are overjoyed as you imagine a bright future. But as the days go by, you realize that you can’t make friends. The people there ostracize you and call you names. And the opportunities afforded to you are minimal. The question is, will you shut down and go back to where you came from? Oh! And by the way, where you came from, there is a famine, and people are dying.

What do you do?

This is the issue that faced the Thai-Chinese population when they first settled in Thailand. Their story of resilience and industry is what I want to begin with.

In the late 1800s and early 1900s, a wave of Chinese migrants from southern China arrived in Siam (modern-day Thailand) seeking better lives. They started at the bottom as laborers, traders, and small shopkeepers, precisely because no other jobs were available. They endured poverty, discrimination, and were viewed as second-class citizens.  

They didn’t give up, but leaned into strong family networks, hard work, and a deep culture of saving and entrepreneurship. Over generations, many moved into trading, finance, and manufacturing, building business empires in rice milling, banking, shipping, retail, and later real estate and telecoms.

They had to endure ethnic discrimination as they were viewed with suspicion. They had to go through forced assimilation to confirm and adopt Thai names, Thai culture, and language. They were politically targeted, especially during economic hard times, when they were termed as greedy and unpatriotic. They had to hide their Chinese values to survive or succeed.

Have you ever been in a place that feels more draining than uplifting? I will be the first to raise my hand and say yes, I have been there. Today, let's reflect on toxic environments. Why do we stay? Why do we leave? Why do so many people feel powerless to act? Let's consider what we can do to protect ourselves from these toxic surroundings.

Before we go very far, I want to say that our threshold for what we can take has gone down.

Our resilience—our ability to endure, recover, and thrive under pressure—has declined. A global study of over 1,700 adults found 27% with low resilience, struggling with stress. Burnout is early: 25% of Americans reported burnout before 30, with 42% feeling more stressed than average. Gen Z and Millennials face even more pressure. Adults now live at about half their stress capacity but feel more overwhelmed. Our capacity to handle stress has nearly halved, despite increased demands, leaving us feeling more overwhelmed and less prepared to handle burdens.

What our ancestors had to endure daily would today be considered a human rights issue. Yet, mental wellness seems to be rapidly declining; more people are feeling lonely, lost, and out of place. This extends to our workplaces, where over 80% of workers are considered disengaged. That is a pandemic of enormous proportions. But how did we get here?

I have a few ideas, mainly centered around our education (or rather miseducation, sic!). Literacy is a valuable skill, and we need it greatly, but we can be foolish in how we use our ability to read and write. Education has not been used to create self-aware people who seek out their purpose and make a difference. Instead, education has produced many followers who desperately seek their identity in the crowd, conforming to gain affirmation and validation. They fear standing apart from the crowd. But when they take a moment to think, the crowd doesn’t need them; it only uses them as fuel to feed itself. Once they are used up, they are discarded.

To become self-aware is to suddenly wake up and realize you were sleepwalking through a dream, in which you were not the leading actor or benefactor.

Could the toxic environment you're in be your greatest ally in reigniting your life?

The story of Judah Ben-Hur is about the intense suffering that a prince endures. A childhood friend betrays him into slavery, where he nearly dies. During this time, he saves a Roman commander in a battle, and in gratitude, the Roman adopts him. He trains as a charioteer and seeks revenge. But after getting his revenge, he feels no peace and learns that his mother and sister have leprosy, which deeply wounds him. Miraculously, after witnessing Jesus's crucifixion, Judah's mother and sister are healed, and Judah begins to embrace faith, forgiveness, and compassion instead of hatred.

The story is powerful, and follows the typical hero's journey we must embrace in a fractured world. Many of us forget this and prefer to dwell on the emotions and thoughts that come with life's experiences. More often, we cling to these thoughts and feelings, suppressing them, and instead of being resilient, we fall into hopelessness and see only darkness around us.

This article is not meant to motivate, but rather to remind you of what you have and the power that lies within your hands.

We seem to think that our salvation is far away, and in the distance, rather than with us.

Two stories to illustrate this.

There was once a man who had been sick for 38 years. He knew of a mystical place with healing powers. He would sit on a mat near this place, and every morning, as prescribed, he would try to enter the waters to find healing, but someone else would go before him.

It was a frustrating experience. But he accepted it, understanding it was the only way to find healing. When Jesus heard his story, he approached and asked a simple question, “Do you want to get well?” The man, not knowing who was asking, began explaining the conditions of the market, his lack of skills, and the people blocking his path to healing. This is what we usually do. We dwell in our ego, blame others, curse our circumstances, consider ourselves superior for being opinionated, and then return to our mat, our only possession in this harsh and ungrateful world.

But in reality, this is our creation. It is we who have decided how the world should be shaped around us. When an unknown entity quietly asks us, 'Do you want to make things better?', a simple question, we instead present ourselves as victims, expressing our concerns and all the reasons why we can't. Deep down, we don’t believe we deserve healing or elevation. And that's not an external issue; it’s a very internal one.

Yet Jesus gave him explicit instructions. Get up, pick up your mat, and walk. Let's investigate these instructions. 

The first was “Get up”.  

In any environment, four things can intrinsically motivate you to stand up. Realizing your autonomy, becoming a master in an area of interest, following a purpose that gives you meaning and leaves an impact, and finally, finding people who are your tribe—people who can walk with you in resonance with the other three things.

Most of us stick to an environment because we just want to survive.

“I am doing this job so I can make a living and support my family and needs.” In other words, we are surviving; we are at the bottom of Maslow's hierarchy of needs. And it's worse because animals don’t worry much about what they eat, where they sleep, or how the day goes. Still, we as humans are competing with them at the bottom and in the process dehumanizing ourselves because we cannot rise above the bottom of the barrel. All of this is thanks to how we see the world around us and how we believe things should be.

The cripple had had enough, and when Jesus told him to get up, pick up his mat, and walk, he gladly obeyed. He went against his 38 years of beliefs and took a stand, literally.

The second instruction was “pick up your mat”.

What is your mat?

For this man, it was his source of comfort in a place filled with pain, distress, feelings of worthlessness, rejection, and not being accepted. He had fought a disease for 38 years, and it had become part of his identity. The mat was perhaps one of his few possessions. His identity. He was probably known as the cripple with the blue mat, who knows?           

The question here is, what is your mat, in all the toxicity you experience? 

Could it be related to how you see yourself, the shadows you carry? Carl Jung believed that a toxic workplace is often a projection of the unacknowledged “shadow”—the dark, rejected parts of ourselves—at the collective level. Leaders or teams may project insecurity, envy, control, or fear onto others, creating blame cultures, bullying, or favoritism. To pick up your mat is to ask what part of me this environment triggers. Is it fear? My need to please? My silence?

Picking up the mat could mean becoming aware. This is the first step toward freedom. It may require you to develop a journaling habit—one where you pour your reactions into a journal, rather than just venting or gossiping. This habit enables you to process and understand your triggers, thereby strengthening your inner self. It is also closely tied to finding time to be alone, in solitude, through meditation to nurture and listen to your intuition.

Intuition is the ability to understand or know something immediately, without the need for conscious reasoning or analysis. It's often described as a gut feeling, an inner knowing, or a sense of truth that arises spontaneously, without deliberate thought.

Intuition exists in all of us and must be nurtured by becoming more emotionally aware, understanding bodily reactions, recognizing learned patterns, and knowing how our subconscious stores triggers and memories. Responses may be overridden by logic, but intuition aids in quick judgments, understanding behavior, and navigating emotional situations. Sharpen it and find meaning—ask what it teaches about who you're becoming. In a toxic environment, intuition is a powerful internal compass for survival, truth, and clarity amid confusion or manipulation.

 

What if your mat represents the persona you've carefully crafted over time, especially since in a toxic environment, we are often forced to wear a false mask to get by? Over time, this dis-connect between your true self and the persona you present may lead to burnout, anxiety, and depression. The mat can serve as a tool to reclaim authenticity by reconnecting with your values, truth, and voice — even in small ways. That's why the journey to pick up your mat is a simple but meaningful step.

A toxic environment demands conformity, not individuality. It suppresses creativity, dissent, and growth. Yet, you are a unique and whole person. The call to get up and move is to realize you are special, loved, and one of a kind.

The third instruction was “And walk.”

This urges you to find spaces, whether inside or outside of work, where you can nurture your creative and intellectual self. From Toastmasters, where I am, to a running club, a book club, a choir, or picking up an instrument in a group—find those passion projects like art, writing, or anything that helps reclaim your wholeness.

When the man was finally able to walk, he was quickly asked why he was walking with his mat. The day was a Sabbath, and the rules of conformity were strict, regardless of any miracle you had experienced. The rules required you not to pick up your mat; it was illegal and unacceptable.

This reminds me that sometimes toxicity isn't just individual; it can be systemic. It’s a collective unconscious pattern that entire groups unconsciously enact—institutions of fear, favoritism, or repression. In such situations, don’t pretend everything is fine, that no one noticed you pick your mat, or that they’re castigating you for becoming aware and rising with your mat. Find the courage to speak up, or better yet, find a way to walk away.

Remember, the man was instructed to walk. He wasn’t told exactly where, but he went to a place where he would face harsh criticism and humiliation because that was all they knew of him. Jesus even returned and reiterated that he needed to stop sinning, or else something worse would happen. Part of this involves him discovering the truth and walking boldly with it, rather than conforming and falling back into the toxic environment.

You have the power to walk away from this, to find truth, to become aware, to grow spiritually, to discover your purpose, and to truly do what God created you to accomplish in this world. Otherwise, it might be that you are sinning.

In conclusion, the resilience and adaptability of Thai-Chinese turned exclusion into opportunity. Their toxic environment was transformed when they united with discipline, vision, and solidarity. Their success didn’t come from individual effort but from strong family and community support. For them, entrepreneurship thrived without privilege — a blueprint for many marginalized communities today.

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Thank you for taking the time to read this blog! I'm Edwin Moindi, a Life and Habit Coach dedicated to helping people understand their habits, navigate their emotions, and cultivate emotional intelligence for a happier, more balanced life. I'd love to hear your thoughts—feel free to reach out and share your insights or questions!