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Break Free from the Idol You’ve Created

 


Have you ever knelt in prayer, voice trembling, eyes brimming with hope, believing you were speaking to God, only to wake up later with a hollow echo in your soul? I’ve been there. I once prayed, expecting change, expecting presence, but finding only the image I had secretly made of Him in my mind — fashioned from fear, dogma, and what I’d been taught.

Here's the main point I want you to appreciate: Many of us are not worshiping the eternal, everlasting God, but an idol made from our experiences, beliefs, and ego. Until we see this, healing, trust, and true purpose will stay out of reach.

Over the years, both as a habit coach and through my own journey (especially in my 20s and early 30s), I learned that changing habits isn't just about doing things differently — it's about seeing things differently. The way you perceive God influences your habits, your courage, and your trust. Let’s explore three key truths that helped me, and hopefully do the same for you, to reconnect with the real, living God.

 Key Point 1: How Ignorance and Fear Shape a False God

Inhabitants of ignorance — not in the sense of stupidity, but simply a lack of exposure or reflection — often create gods more like themselves than like divine nature. If your earliest understanding of a father was distant or transactional, that might have been the template you used for God. Fear intensifies what’s missing; when miracles seem rare or when suffering looms large, it’s easier to imagine a safe God who demands less, feels less, or is distant.

I remember my teenage years, quietly struggling with the idea that God must be distant because my earthly father was. My father loved me, but emotional distance was part of our family life. So naturally, I created a God who also stayed far away unless I begged or earned His attention. I expected miracles only in big moments — never in small, honest ones.

Implication for your life:
If your relationship with God is based on fear — of failure, rejection, or not being “good enough” — you will only see the God of your fears. Habits of shame, avoidance, and perfectionism will flourish. Breaking free starts by identifying what you believe: “Do I believe God is transactional? Conditional? Distant?” Then, challenge that internal idol with truth.

 Key Point 2: When Identity, Ego, and Control Fracture Our Relationship

Ego craves definition. We want control. When life becomes unpredictable and chaos surrounds us, we try to manage, even micromanage—not just our schedules but also our relationship with God. We create rules, dogma, and identities — such as “good Christian,” “sufferer,” and “lesser than” — to feel a sense of structure and control. However, God’s work often requires surrender.

In my late 20s, I clung to dogma—the “right” way to read scriptures and the “required” suffering narrative—even while my soul craved connection and truth. When everything around me started falling apart, relationship breakdowns, loss, unmet expectations—I could see clearly that I was wrestling not with God, but with my own idol of control. I wanted to manage His image so that if I ever failed, at least I’d have a version of God that “could be blamed” rather than admitting I didn’t truly trust Him.

Implication for your life:
Because we have built a god we can “predict,” it becomes impossible to walk in vulnerability. Habits of hiding, pretending, and wearing masks become more prevalent. The second key to breaking the idol is to let your identity be redefined — not by religious “shoulds” — but through your encounters with truth, honesty, sorrow, and genuine need.

 Key Point 3: What True Worship & Trust Look Like in Everyday Life

Worshipping in truth and spirit means letting go of the scripts we recite and the rituals we perform, instead trusting that God's will is greater. Trust is built when we stop trying to control outcomes and allow God to lead the story, even when nothing seems to change. In terms of habit formation, real transformation doesn't come from doing everything perfectly, but from showing up consistently, surrendering control, and working to shift our perceptions.


For me, the closest I’ve felt to God was during times when I said, “I want honesty over performance.” When I stopped praying to accomplish tasks and began praying to know Him, when I stopped seeking miraculous signs and instead noticed grace in the small things: a kind word, a breath, a moment of peace amid panic. That shift quietly changed my habits — I stopped forcing consistency and started creating space for growth.

Implication for your life:
True worship isn't just about going through the motions on Sunday; it's about allowing yourself to be broken, vulnerable, and curious. Trust means letting go of the need for everything to make sense immediately.

Habit coaching often discusses “tiny wins”—these are echoes of true worship: small steps of faith, moments of surrender, and habits rooted in truth rather than obligation.

Conclusion: Reconnecting with the Real God

Each of us carries an idol shaped by early beliefs, emotional wounds, culture, and expectations. That idol isn’t God — it’s a mix of fear, ego, and what we’ve absorbed. Because it’s false, when life gets real, it cracks. We misunderstand, misjudge, and walk away in bitterness. However, the good news is that the path back is wide and open. Recognizing your idol is the first step. Then you can begin to dismantle it and claim a God who is infinite, loving, unpredictable, and faithful — one whose imprint doesn’t depend on your performance.

Call to Action: Begin the Journey of Truth

  • Today, write down three beliefs you have about God that feel heavy, false, or borrowed (from culture, family, church).
  • Compare them with what God’s word says — not what others say. Notice the contrast.
  • Start building one habit rooted in truth: maybe daily 5 minutes of vulnerability in prayer, journaling what you feel, not what you think you should feel.

If you’re a habit coaching client, I want you to bring one of those beliefs with you to our next call. Let’s explore its origin, challenge it, and start building truthful habits together.

 

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