Your Brain Isn’t Fixed — Even if People Say You’re an “Introvert'

I used to roll my eyes whenever someone said, “Oh, he’s an introvert—let him be.” (A cozy blanket we wrap you in so you don’t have to talk.) Somewhere, I started repeating, “Okay, fine, I’m an introvert.” But inside, a little rebel was whispering: Why did I accept that? Did I absorb it just because it was easier than pushing back?

Here’s what I want you to take away: You are not defined by the labels others hand you, and your habits (especially dopamine habits) influence who you become more than you realize.

If you want to regain control over your identity — rather than live by someone else’s definition — we need to explore what influences your brain wiring. Let me guide you through this (using real science, a compelling story, and maybe a smirk or two).

 

1.       Dopamine Hijack: How Quick Rewards Change You

Think dopamine is just a simple "feel-good” chemical? Actually, it's more of an anticipation aid — giving you that boost right before you experience something exciting. When you desire something, dopamine levels increase; once you obtain it, dopamine levels decrease, and then serotonin or oxytocin takes over to bring about that comforting, cozy feeling.

In our modern life, that dance is being overwhelmed. Social media likes, TikTok, junk food, clickbait, streaming, swipe-everything — instant rewards are everywhere. That disrupts the “spike-crash–seek again” cycle. Anna Lembke describes it as the " Pleasure-Pain “see-saw.”

Over time, your brain dulls. You need more novelty to feel anything. You lose patience. Your focus shrinks. The things that used to feed your soul now feel dull or slow.

Here’s the real trick: those dopamine habits begin to erode how you show up.

• You used to be able to dive deep into books. Now, even a 20-minute article feels like an eternity.
• Conversations that once lit you up feel draining. So you retreat.
• Creative ideas used to bubble up; now they flicker and sputter.
• Joy gets flattened. You ask, “What used to excite me?” and your brain says, “I dunno.”

Brain science confirms this: excessive use of fast rewards is linked to reduced D2 dopamine receptors in the prefrontal cortex, which hampers impulse control and executive functioning.

You change who you are to match what the algorithm or whoever is giving you the hit wants. Performance becomes more important than being yourself. External approval matters more than your inner charm.

 

 

 

2. Neuroplasticity Shows Your “Introvert' Label Isn't Permanent

In September 1848, a foreman named Phineas Gage was working in Vermont on a railroad crew. While tamping (yes, using an iron rod), an explosion hurled a long iron bar right through his skull—entering near his left cheek, destroying parts of his frontal lobe, and exiting through the top.

Here’s the jaw-dropping part: he survived. He walked, he talked, and later recounted who he worked with. Doctors were stunned.

Now, did he become a monster as textbooks often dramatize? Not quite. Dr. John Harlow, his physician, reported changes: he became more impulsive, profane, less able to stay on task, and less deferent to others. “He is fitful, irreverent, indulging at times in the grossest profanity…impatient of restraint” — are some of Harlow’s words.

Many modern stories make it seem like he changed a lot. Some say he became an alcoholic, a criminal, or a broken person. But there isn’t much proof of that. In reality, he later regained some of his social skills, held jobs (even as a stagecoach driver in Chile), and was better off than most stories suggest.

What Gage’s case shows us is this: the brain does influence personality, especially the frontal lobes. And more importantly: brains are plastic — they adapt, compensate, and recover in ways we’re still learning about.

So yes, your “introvert” label and your “I can’t change now” story—they may be habits of wiring, but they’re not permanent.

Why You Weren’t Born Fixed

Your dopamine system, wiring, and personality tendencies are influenced by a combination of genetics, early life experiences, culture, and family dynamics. But none of it has to be set in stone. Since your brain remodels itself while you sleep, it can also change as you practice healthier habits. Neuroplasticity serves as your built-in “undo button”—as long as you provide intention, time, and the right conditions.

 

3. Reclaiming You: Habits That Change Who You Are

If quick rewards are influencing you, your mission is to reclaim your inner magnetism. Here’s how we do this in practice:

Reset, Resist, Reboot

• Dopamine fast/reset — 24 to 72 hours with no fast-reward stimuli (yes, no doomscrolling, sugar dumps, binge, whatever). Let your receptors rest.
• Seek natural dopamine — exercise (hello, endorphins), honest conversations, creative work, music, nature, reading, prayer, contemplation. These are lower-voltage but sustainable.
• Train delayed gratification — journal before you act, sit with boredom, reward persistence over impulse.
• Meaning > stimulation — ask: Does this serve my purpose, or entertain me?

Rewiring for Depth, Focus & Authenticity

You start aligning your daily habits with traits you want (not the ones someone else assigned you). Over time:

• Conscientiousness returns: your brain relearns delayed rewards, and your self-discipline gets stronger.
• Openness and curiosity revive: you no longer jump from shiny object to shiny object—you deepen your interest.
• Extraversion (authentic version) returns: you don’t need superficial likes to feel seen; genuine connection becomes energy, not a drain.
• Kindness, empathy, and warmth come alive: oxytocin and serotonin get space to act.
• Emotional stability improves: you stop riding highs and crashes and begin grounding yourself in meaning.

Your habits sculpt your personality. It’s not woo-woo — it’s neurology + intention.

Yes, I realize asking you to do a dopamine fast sounds like telling someone to “just stop breathing for a weekend.” But think of it like rebooting an ancient computer: sometimes the most unnatural thing is to stop everything so you can start right.

And, yes, I realize this is easier to preach than to do. That’s why I coach you — to help you stumble, laugh, get up, rewire, stumble again — until you stop stumbling so much.

If you’ve ever said things like:

• “I can’t change now; I’m too old.”
• “This is just how I’m wired.”
• “It’s never been part of my family to be expressive.”

…then I’m issuing a (loving) challenge: you can evolve. You can become more present, more alive, less hostage to dopamine hits.

My Call to Action

1. Declare a 48-hour dopamine reset window (this week). Trash the distractions.
2. Journal at the start & end: What do you feel? What resurfaces in quiet moments?
3. Tell me (or your circle): one tiny habit you will replace a dopamine hit with (reading, walking, an honest talk).
4. Experiment, reflect, adjust — notice how your brain, your personality, your sense of self shifts.

Drop your first “reset window” in comments or DM me. Let me cheer you on (and poke you when you cheat). Because the path of changing your wiring is messy — but it’s spectacular.

You are not a fixed label. You are not someone else’s myth about you. You are a living, shifting thing — and with intention, you get to reclaim you.

Let’s rewire, rebel, and resurrect what’s real. Are you in?